For everyone who just wants a quick overview: Daniels fired me as Scripter, I left as Admin after that.

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This thread may contain bits of Rage, rant, suicidal thoughts (though I never mention this from here on although I had enough of them and when it comes to planning *shrugs* eh, could be better). If it gets me banned for it, so may be it, but as someone who’s been working a lot on vG MTA over the past 8 months, I feel I’m free enough to voice my opinion. If you think it’s always that easy as it may appear to be, go try and hug Alexei.

To clear one thing up: I’ve planned to leave as scripter and likely as admin by the beginning of march regardless of what happened, I’ve spent way too much of time of what you might think of a game, I have zero motivation to do any admin work and I did not plan to continue after the 5th – now that Daniels already gave me the chance to leave, I’m gladly taking this.

Fig. 1: Hours played in total, days the character was active, hours per day. Please take into account that everywhere it says 'creationdate' as 2009-10-18, this is when we have introduced this field and everyone who has that can be a lot longer than that on the server - as I can't give any more accurate date on it, just keep in mind that it is less.

You see me with both the most hours although my char didn’t exist for that long, followed by Livelethal whom I used to roleplay with on Natalie and spent a lot of time with. Keep in mind that all the time I spent on the script does NOT count towards that, neither the time I spent on the forums; that I had some days where I didn’t play at all and that I was sick at times yet still played. I have a laptop and I have a pretty good idea of how to roleplay with only seeing half of the screen because I’ve been laying in my bed with my head on my lappy, not really seeing much but a few lines of the chat and my keyboard. Funnily enough, I’ve even went over to write Natalie’s character stories while looking out of the window – I spent my time when I had to use a train to look out at the mostly dark landscape, not looking at my laptop at all until I wrote a few sentences or when I thought I put a mistake in which I did not believe to be able to fix without glancing at the screen for a moment, but in fact it’s very relaxing if you don’t have to look at the screen the whole time but can look at something else *hangs a nude poster on the wall behind his laptop*. It might be weird to write without looking at the keyboard but just at the screen, but it helps me relaxing a lot to not stare at the screen for the whole time. Barely possible in roleplay though, my bad.

Besides that, I’ve some really slow roleplay which a lot of the people with mediocre or below roleplay standards, probably even those above would’ve ragequitted between. I had possibly about 20 or 30 lines of chat, /me, /do etc within two paydays with a person, neither of us knowing what to do really, was at about 9AM for me and I was tired as hell, closed my eyes after every line I wrote and occasionally looked up to check if something new appeared there. For everyone still reading it, even more for everyone using /do Succeeds?, Go shit a brick, AFK is different from laying-on-the-keyboard-with-your-head-and-almost-sleeping. Grow some patience because you have no idea whatever the person you roleplay with is up to in real life. I spent over an hour waiting for some people to come back and when I finally thought they wouldn’t and started doing something else, they came back. Even more, I’ve roleplayed with people who passed out during that and I won’t deny I woke up with my laptop and MTA running still next to me.

I know Daniels wants me back as Scripter (and possibly admin, not sure) yet this will not happen any time soon, I’m taking my chance and will focus more on real life. I’ve had times – mainly November and December – where I ate once every two days if not less often, I remember being around in IRC and just been hungry after 60 hours or so without any food just because I valued my roleplay and the time I worked on improving the server more important and whenever I had the idea I might want to get some food it was fairly past midnight. This got a little bit better in January where I at least ate once a day but only for about a week or two do I eat twice, which might still appear to be not enough but is definitively an improvement to before. I am fully aware that I ck’d Natalie myself and I’m fully aware of the reason.

I spent a lot of time in SAN and as hard as easy as it is to say it – it consisted mainly of lazy people who couldn’t be assed to do anything. We once had SAN down at 5 people I think including me, Daniela Lane, Josh Stafford, DeShaun Miller, Kaze Midoru which I still consider the time with most activity and at least most interest to participate in it.

I’m nowadays barely on the server to roleplay with exactly one (1) Person which I value a lot. Despite most of the other admins and players (not the people I value a little more and roleplayed with for a while) telling me “nooooo omfg why did you leave”, “Come back”, “wtf why did you kill Natalie” etc and whatever I might have done, she’s the only one who actually accepted what I did and even if I might’ve not told her too much about the reason — Neither of the people I roleplayed with had too much interest in it/got bored of it. I know that is an OOC reason, but I could care less. I’ve roleplayed it well enough and as an IC reason I could easily name the person I’ve been married with only drinking and not paying too much attention, helping Mia to kill a woman and a baby, etc. — unlike everyone else’s answer and without going in too much detail, the answer was just “I’m okay with that”, “Do what you want”, “Understandable”. I won’t say much about this person, just that the people I met on IRC definitively know who it is.

Speaking of IRC, I will be on irc pretty much every day, as I already have been ever before I joined vG MTA. If anyone wants to discuss anything with me, to IRC you shall go.

I want to comment on a few people, may I?

Daniels – first of all, thank you a lot for giving me the chance to work on the MTA script, I’m sure it has improved a lot over the time and it certainly is more enjoyable nowadays than it was when I joined. Apart from that, you’re a fucking idiot, an ass, someone who’s putting pictures of Hitler in my avatar and the real life picture thread, someone who tells me once he screwed up the permissions that I’m fired instead of fixing them, someone who is thinking way too often I like people to play dumb jokes on me, and certainly someone which I’d kill with a carrot IRL. But go on like you always do, go for whatever you please, don’t include the admin team in any decision that you make, you’ve been doing a fairly good job at it until now. You’ve managed to pull admin team updates completely from your ass without asking anyone or only with 2 or 3 people despite the lead admin team being a bit larger than that.

Chamberlain – You are in my opinion the most reasonable head admin and I respect you and your decisions in every matter, though I stole the Admin of the Year title from you I’ve been always looking up to you and I still am. (Not in regards of scripting, but uh)

Mount – Good Luck with Daniels and herbjr, you’ll need it. Despite that, fix the problem with your parents why don’t ya and don’t let the script to die. If it was only Daniels, it would happen with about a chance of 99.99%, seeing as he’s already saying it will die. Though you’re a good roleplayer, I hope you’ll improve anyway.

herbjr – Have fun, don’t let your head explode, don’t take it too seriously – but look who’s speaking.

livelethal – Nothing to say. I spent a lot of time roleplaying with you and it was awesome. You’re a great RPer and admin, unlike myself you even paused roleplay to do admin reports – something I would have never done.

Fitz – Quitting is for Quitters. Okay, on a more serious note, I’m glad you have a way to go in life and I hope you’ll be successful on it. You’ve taken your chance to leave, and I hope everything will work out for you. If you don’t come to IRC, I’ll put a CK app on you. I consider you one of the best roleplayers I’ve ever met and though you raping Falco was disgusting, putting someone’s head over an exhaust after you beat him down with Shovels was scary, you’re one of the people I already miss.

Clarky – You’ve raged on the Lead Admin team so often for a reason I understand well yet I had no influence on (as that being said, the Lead+ Admin team isn’t a democracy but a dictatorship), I hope I’ll see you around

Tomate – I hope you’re doing well, I’m a little in doubt though but if you ever manage to read this, I’m sorry for what I did to Daniella by killing Natalie.

Alexei – I’ve signed you up for Weight Watchers, you need it. I hate you for being good at graphics stuff while I am not and I wish I had the chance to RP with you more often than just a few times in Tiger Club. But hey, you even got free vodka for an evening.

Taco Bell err. Rygar – I hope you learned a bit from the tips I gave you, good luck in getting your faction scripted, I doubt you’ll need as much luck as just confidence in yourself to continue with it, and even if it may not get scripted you’ll gain some excellent roleplay from it.

Rohane – I believe I had the most interesting discussion I ever had on vG with you, it evolved from a single comment on Nat’s char story but I’m jumping to conclusions a lot, and it was one case where it actually worked out. Thank you a lot for that, I believe it helped me quite a bit. Besides, you’re a pretty annoying RPer, you just roleplay while I’m trying to have a discussion with someone else and thus I’m always getting your /me’s and /do’s. You’re one of the people who I wanted to roleplay a bit more for that one reason, but it never really got any further.

Einschtein – Lay off the drugs or pass some to me, you’re way too calm, did you ever rage in your life? Plus you spammed my inbox too much, I doubt there was ever a single week without you sending me a PM about a ticket I missed. I may admit, I didn’t look at the ticket center regularly.

Misha – You’re the only reason why people crash at Grove Street (Pure virtual function call/lag there is due to too many interiors), I blame Daniels as well as he didn’t create something similar to the lagpatch for vehicles which after all was nothing but a failure. Though, get out of jail any time soon and bring some activity back to LM.

LokiHavok, Endust – How dare you could ever let JTM die. I will never forgive you for that, and by that I mean at least until next Monday. It was a faction I really enjoyed to roleplay with and it is a shame it had to end like this.

Mr. Stafford, CortezBoi or whatever you want me to call you – I’ve had an amazing time roleplaying with you until Josh eventually died, after that Nat pretty much blamed it all on herself and we know she was right there, wasn’t she?

Crow – RPing with you has been pretty interesting and unfortunately ended up with a loss of interest as Lili has always been drinking – though I never believed you about who you (not) are on your admin app and as it turned out, I wasn’t wrong, now get someone to whip your ass for playing CSS.

Tigun – Stop ban evading if you read this. Nevertheless, been fun to roleplay with you though you called my char a psycho bitch for always only speaking of herself in third person

PLEP – Stop asking me to teach you how to RP, you know it well enough and anything beyond that can be learned by RPing with other people – though it’s hard to find even some who are able to RP their character fairly well.

Paris – You’re a great RPer, sorry for ruining your debut as detective.

OverDrive – Finally moving on to the bad people, it’s finally you. Try to fix your spelling and stop asking us to unban hackers. Despite that I still have no idea why you keep saying people you’re sharing larger donations with scripters, so far I have put $235 in Donations in this community but did never receive much from it, the most I had to put up with the crap I got from everyone at a time, and at some point it just ain’t fun no more and I hope you’ll understand that I will focus on something other than just MTA in the future. If not, well, I’ll do anyway.

Sev – I’m evil and so are you, sorry for being so evil that I refused to add court badges, yet at the same point you’re one of the people who I’m unable to really hate and I hope you’ll have a great time with your court here and your law stuff IRL.

Fox – I <3 you. Your mapping is far beyond any expectations, you’re the best mapper I have so far seen on MTA and without you, the server would miss a lot of great things.

Nero – Stop begging me for cash.

Jumba – I loved roleplaying with you, you’re a cool dude and always came up with something interesting. Shame you had to brb.

Kaze – You’re my most favorite hitman ever, though you failed on that hit! SWAT *mumbles*

Adam Patterson/Scott McReary – Introduced me to the PD about one day after I played on MTA, been fun times, too bad you left MTA after you got kicked from the admin team. Though you were one annoying prick when you weren’t a lead admin (LEAD /ri 1) at least you were the person most dedicated to admin work and never left too much reports aside. Too bad you never roleplayed in the Sayonara Restaurant at Metropolitean Ave, I remember both of us having it.

To everyone who still wants me to stay, read the thread again.

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I will roleplay in future, just not as much and mostly with some Russian(s).